There once was a penguin who walked into a bar. "Hey can you get me a beer?" he asked.
"Holy cow!" said the bartender. "It's a talking penguin! What are you doing here so far from a winter island?"
The penguin sighed, "Yes, yes, I work at the construction site down the street and yours was the closest bar to it. So can I get an ice cold one or not?"
The bartender gave him one and kept talking to the bird and when the penguin went to pay his bill, the bartender said, "No no, tonight's on me, you're too amazing to pay."
"Well, thank you very much!" the penguin grinned, "I'll definitely come back here a lot!"
So over the next three months while the job was going on, the penguin kept returning to buy beers from his friend.
After awhile though a traveling circus passed through town. The ringleader was all dressed up and fancy and ordered a beer. He told the bartender all about his circus act and the things they had but the bartender said, "That's nothing. We get a talking penguin in here every night!"
"Really?" The ringleader was impressed. "What's he doing so far from a winter island?"
"He works at the construction site down the street, but it's finishing up soon."
"You think he'd be willing to take a job with me?" the Ringleader asked.
"I don't know, why don't you ask him. Here he comes now," the Bartender gestured. All the regulars greeted the penguin and he took his usual seat at the bar. "Hey Lou," he said to the bartender, "Can I get an ice cold one?" "Sure thing!" replied the bartender.
"Holy cow, you're a talking penguin!" the ringleader was astonished.
"Sure am," the penguin drank his beer.
"Please you must come work for me!"
The penguin tilted his head, "What's the job?"
The Ringleader explained all about the circus and the elephants and the tigers and lions that jump through fire, the acrobats, and traveling the world. "So do you think you'll do it?"
"Sorry," the penguin apologized, "That sounds really amazing and all, but I'm a drywall man."
[That is a very long joke for a very small (if any) payoff. Enjoy. The duck one is my favorite, but only because of my Pops/father-in-law.]
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"Holy cow!" said the bartender. "It's a talking penguin! What are you doing here so far from a winter island?"
The penguin sighed, "Yes, yes, I work at the construction site down the street and yours was the closest bar to it. So can I get an ice cold one or not?"
The bartender gave him one and kept talking to the bird and when the penguin went to pay his bill, the bartender said, "No no, tonight's on me, you're too amazing to pay."
"Well, thank you very much!" the penguin grinned, "I'll definitely come back here a lot!"
So over the next three months while the job was going on, the penguin kept returning to buy beers from his friend.
After awhile though a traveling circus passed through town. The ringleader was all dressed up and fancy and ordered a beer. He told the bartender all about his circus act and the things they had but the bartender said, "That's nothing. We get a talking penguin in here every night!"
"Really?" The ringleader was impressed. "What's he doing so far from a winter island?"
"He works at the construction site down the street, but it's finishing up soon."
"You think he'd be willing to take a job with me?" the Ringleader asked.
"I don't know, why don't you ask him. Here he comes now," the Bartender gestured. All the regulars greeted the penguin and he took his usual seat at the bar. "Hey Lou," he said to the bartender, "Can I get an ice cold one?" "Sure thing!" replied the bartender.
"Holy cow, you're a talking penguin!" the ringleader was astonished.
"Sure am," the penguin drank his beer.
"Please you must come work for me!"
The penguin tilted his head, "What's the job?"
The Ringleader explained all about the circus and the elephants and the tigers and lions that jump through fire, the acrobats, and traveling the world. "So do you think you'll do it?"
"Sorry," the penguin apologized, "That sounds really amazing and all, but I'm a drywall man."
[That is a very long joke for a very small (if any) payoff. Enjoy. The duck one is my favorite, but only because of my Pops/father-in-law.]