[Fenimore is glad that she was slow enough to stand up after Rei, as she's not entirely sure how steady her legs would have been after that surprise. She'll stay on the floor for the moment, looking up at Rei, and that only makes the impression of weight and intensity behind Rei's gaze even stronger, making her seem taller -- and not entirely because of the heels. She never would have guessed this, as even the mention of battle passed her by without thinking how Rei might have been involved. Rei could have been involved indirectly, like Fenimore's own work in triage and running errands in a battle in her world, or involved somehow with her magic. She's rendered speechless at first.
If she was told this by most people, she would argue against it. If it was Rei alone, she would have argued, even though the speech would have felt comforting at first. To Norma, and to Shirley last she was here, and maybe to some of the others, her death had already happened. Even if destiny could be changed, how could the past be changed? To try to change it was fruitless and the promise to change it was just empty words.
But it's harder to argue with someone with this strong of a presence and this much apparent experience in changing destiny.
Once some of the shock passes, a flood of emotions rush in. There's a sense of awe at the intensity from Sailor Mars, a kind of remnant from the shock. There's a warmth blossoming in her chest at being trusted like this. There's some curiosity, with questions about things like how being two people works and what is a Mars. There's even a nagging sense that something about this seems familiar, since she has actually read magical girl comics before. And there's a tiny little feeling of hope.
But that hope brings its own problems. She starts to tremble again and she breaks eye contact with Mars, looking down to the floor and gritting her teeth as she tries to keep the tears filling her eyes from flowing over. Her voice is shaky when she speaks.]
I...I don't know if I can stand to hope it could change. It's -- easier, when it's inevitable. All I could do was be resigned to it. So I could ignore it. I could just think about here, because -- because no matter how much I missed home, or the people I left there...that part of my life was over. Because when I left here, I would --
[Her voice hitches, and she swallows hard. As she continues, she speaks more quickly, as though the words are tumbling out of her mouth without her really thinking about them.]
But if it's not inevitable, if I could be saved, then...it feels like it's something that's going to happen. It feels like a -- a danger hanging over my head, and I don't have enough hope to think it's not probably going to happen anyway, and it's like I can't ignore it now, and I --
[She stops. She hates admitting to weakness directly, and that she's already shown a lot of it today makes it worse. But, after bowing her head even lower, she continues in a small voice.]
I'm scared.
[Hope, even just small hope, brings with it the chance of that hope being dashed, and over the past several years she's come to think that maybe it's better to just not hope at all.]
[Action]
If she was told this by most people, she would argue against it. If it was Rei alone, she would have argued, even though the speech would have felt comforting at first. To Norma, and to Shirley last she was here, and maybe to some of the others, her death had already happened. Even if destiny could be changed, how could the past be changed? To try to change it was fruitless and the promise to change it was just empty words.
But it's harder to argue with someone with this strong of a presence and this much apparent experience in changing destiny.
Once some of the shock passes, a flood of emotions rush in. There's a sense of awe at the intensity from Sailor Mars, a kind of remnant from the shock. There's a warmth blossoming in her chest at being trusted like this. There's some curiosity, with questions about things like how being two people works and what is a Mars. There's even a nagging sense that something about this seems familiar, since she has actually read magical girl comics before. And there's a tiny little feeling of hope.
But that hope brings its own problems. She starts to tremble again and she breaks eye contact with Mars, looking down to the floor and gritting her teeth as she tries to keep the tears filling her eyes from flowing over. Her voice is shaky when she speaks.]
I...I don't know if I can stand to hope it could change. It's -- easier, when it's inevitable. All I could do was be resigned to it. So I could ignore it. I could just think about here, because -- because no matter how much I missed home, or the people I left there...that part of my life was over. Because when I left here, I would --
[Her voice hitches, and she swallows hard. As she continues, she speaks more quickly, as though the words are tumbling out of her mouth without her really thinking about them.]
But if it's not inevitable, if I could be saved, then...it feels like it's something that's going to happen. It feels like a -- a danger hanging over my head, and I don't have enough hope to think it's not probably going to happen anyway, and it's like I can't ignore it now, and I --
[She stops. She hates admitting to weakness directly, and that she's already shown a lot of it today makes it worse. But, after bowing her head even lower, she continues in a small voice.]
I'm scared.
[Hope, even just small hope, brings with it the chance of that hope being dashed, and over the past several years she's come to think that maybe it's better to just not hope at all.]