[Driving Rei a little mad is exactly the result Fenimore is aiming for, to build the passion even higher behind that dam of restraint, so that when one of them releases it, it will come flooding out. Her own restraint is growing tenuous, and she shivers at Rei's touch and hearing her beautiful girlfriend say her name with such desire.
But then Rei's hand is running over her scars again and she tenses, feeling a wave of revulsion for her own body sweep over her. She doesn't think about the scars much normally, content to leave them hidden under her clothes, from herself as much as from the rest of the world, but what that really means is that she's let it stew in the back of her mind for years. Now, though, with her body slowly being revealed and with Rei's hand on the scar, she's feeling extremely aware of each one. Some of them have healed over the years, but there's still a couple on her legs, one running up just above her hip, and a few on her arms, especially a particularly large and ugly one on her left arm. And then there's her back: many of the scars there have healed over the years, but there are still the two long, deep ones running nearly the whole length of her back that she wonders if will ever heal. She's aware of them, and they make her feel ugly and flawed. And then she looks at Rei -- as far as she can see, her girlfriend's skin is flawless and she's absolutely beautiful. It excites her and yet, at the same time, it makes her a little jealous as well. She knows she shouldn't, but she can't help it.
But Rei isn't saying anything. Maybe she doesn't mind, although, in her current mindset, Fenimore can't understand how. She trusts Rei to be honest and upfront, so maybe she should assume that's how it is, but she can't help a little feeling in the back of her mind like she's waiting for the other shoe to drop. And, somehow, she manages to simultaneously feel stupid and petty for feeling about herself this way and especially for that jealousy. Rei isn't acting like she minds. She's just the one hung up on it like this.
She grits her teeth for a moment. She wishes she were better about this, because she does want to continue. Despite the onslaught of negative emotions, she's still desperately turned on. She wants it so badly. It's just harder to enjoy the moment through this swirl of emotions, especially since dwelling on the scars is only making it easier for memories of where they came from to try to poke through. If only she were normal....
She needs a moment before she'll be able to face continuing kissing down Rei's skin when both lust and envy are fighting it out inside. She takes another deep breath and then moves up to capture her girlfriend's lips again, kissing hard and holding her tightly, trying to burn out these twisted feelings in the heat of passion.
no subject
But then Rei's hand is running over her scars again and she tenses, feeling a wave of revulsion for her own body sweep over her. She doesn't think about the scars much normally, content to leave them hidden under her clothes, from herself as much as from the rest of the world, but what that really means is that she's let it stew in the back of her mind for years. Now, though, with her body slowly being revealed and with Rei's hand on the scar, she's feeling extremely aware of each one. Some of them have healed over the years, but there's still a couple on her legs, one running up just above her hip, and a few on her arms, especially a particularly large and ugly one on her left arm. And then there's her back: many of the scars there have healed over the years, but there are still the two long, deep ones running nearly the whole length of her back that she wonders if will ever heal. She's aware of them, and they make her feel ugly and flawed. And then she looks at Rei -- as far as she can see, her girlfriend's skin is flawless and she's absolutely beautiful. It excites her and yet, at the same time, it makes her a little jealous as well. She knows she shouldn't, but she can't help it.
But Rei isn't saying anything. Maybe she doesn't mind, although, in her current mindset, Fenimore can't understand how. She trusts Rei to be honest and upfront, so maybe she should assume that's how it is, but she can't help a little feeling in the back of her mind like she's waiting for the other shoe to drop. And, somehow, she manages to simultaneously feel stupid and petty for feeling about herself this way and especially for that jealousy. Rei isn't acting like she minds. She's just the one hung up on it like this.
She grits her teeth for a moment. She wishes she were better about this, because she does want to continue. Despite the onslaught of negative emotions, she's still desperately turned on. She wants it so badly. It's just harder to enjoy the moment through this swirl of emotions, especially since dwelling on the scars is only making it easier for memories of where they came from to try to poke through. If only she were normal....
She needs a moment before she'll be able to face continuing kissing down Rei's skin when both lust and envy are fighting it out inside. She takes another deep breath and then moves up to capture her girlfriend's lips again, kissing hard and holding her tightly, trying to burn out these twisted feelings in the heat of passion.
But she's not sure it'll work.]