faithfulflame | Cerealia IC Inbox

[ She is, but she's at least understanding in that this world is separate. He has 0 plans to actually tell Athena any of this, but he just needed to ask for his own piece of mind. With things like love, he isn't a cruel person. Other things? Sure. He poisoned Morgana to save the Kingdom after all, but this is different. Even if he met Freya, his feelings before he had gone back home were just as real. It's a bit difficult to swallow everything now, even if time has passed and he's ...

Well, he's sort of seen Freya again. She gave him the sword. But she was still gone, when it came down to it. ]

There was... [ He definitely struggles though, like he hasn't really talked about this before. ] ...someone, a while ago. Not long after I went back, I think. A druid girl who had been left by her group. She'd been caught by a bounty hunter and... I couldn't just leave her there but-- [ But. He fell in love, they fell in love. He just leaves that hanging in the air though. Ah. ]

[Rei's fingers curl around the cup, and she has to sip to keep herself from sighing. This could be an absolute disaster, if Merlin plays it wrong. If...apparently...she plays it wrong, too, since she's being trusted to keep this a secret even without him saying it. He knows better than to do that to Athena. It does, however, make Rei wonder just how their relationship is going to go. And if it does end badly (and this is a sign that it might), makes her question just how deep she's going to be stuck in the middle.]

You love this woman, don't you?

[She doesn't say much more than that for now, because what else can you say? She needs to know what her friend's been through, and she needs to know what she's dealing with.]

[ He knows it just as well, given how many petty fights he and Athena can have sometimes. Not out of choice, just through being from worlds and times apart. He just stares at the tea in his hands, feels it burning even through the cup. ]

I do. [ There's a beat, then softly, and ever so quietly he murmurs: ] But she died not long after I met her.

[Rei worriedly reaches her hand out to take his cup. She can sense the heat, feel it much more keenly than most other people, and she can't will it away. It bothers her though.]

God. [Setting his cup down, along with hers, Rei wraps her arms around him in a hug.] I'm so sorry, Merlin. I'm so, so sorry.

[ He barely registers that she's taken the cup, his hands staying in place. He isn't going to cry or anything like that (not just from this, anyway) though he does seem oddly... numb? ]

Thanks, but... it's been a long while now. I saw her again recently. The water from the lake of Avalon... and she gave me Excalibur from the lake when we were in peril.

[ He does go limp against her though, leaning into the hug considering he never really had anything to help with this. ]

That doesn't make it hurt any less. I know. I...still love Minako. And distance, absence, and separation...they hurt anyone.

[Her head rests against his shoulder, and she pats him in the hug. It's hard, really hard, seeing him like this.]

I'm sure she'd want you to be happy, though. I know it's hard loving two people, or even being that close to two people, but I don't think that you betrayed anyone.

I wasn't going to say anything but... it was difficult to not think of that question, even if they're separate places.

[ Because he definitely doesn't want to hurt Athena, either. Obviously!! ] Thank you. I think that's what I needed to hear.

[ Just the reassurance... ]

[Rei's happy to do that. To be the reassurance he needs. Of course there's more going on than that. Something somewhat important to be said.]

I'm glad. And honestly, I'm speaking from experience here. It's not a betrayal. You can care about two people. I've...had some things happen here recently that've led to intimate moments, myself. Not love but definite intimacy.

[But.]

Of course, Minako's not Athena. You really, really shouldn't tell her.

[ He stays quiet, because while Rei's explanation makes a lot of sense, he can't really imagine being that close or intimate with someone unless there was definite love involved.

Saying that he also technically snuggled with Yu when they came back after dying so whatever... ]

I didn't plan on it. I'm not really sure how much she'd understand anyway... For as well as we get along, there are lots of times where we misunderstand each other.

For all that she gets along with anyone, she misunderstands just as often. It's not just you, dear.

[Hugging tight now.]

She lives in her own strange little world, you know.

I know, and there's a lot I know she still isn't telling me, too.

[ Ah... Problematic. ] But that's okay. I just wish... I don't know. [ Comparing it to Freya is a bad idea, he knows that, and he also knows he misunderstood her but at the same time being from the same time and place made it a lot easier. ]

Well, most girls have their secrets, and we do like to keep them.

[Rei's lips curl up, amused, but she's telling the truth.]

And it's alright. To wish things were different. Easier. But then, it's hard to say if you'd be the same person without those experiences too. What happened, happened, and for a reason.

I don't know what else to tell you though. Athena's been a wreck without you, I've done what I can but she's a mess. [And kind of pathetic, but that's just Rei's sexism talking.]

Why'd you come to me first? Just to ask that question?

[ He snorts at that, sorry Rei. ]

I don't mean girl things. [ Because he doesn't want to know about those anyway??? ]

And that's... [ He swallows, frowns down at his hand, observing the stupid energy mark that's stuck there for now. ] ...what I figured. I just. Needed a little more time before I went to see her too.

[ He takes a deep breath. ] I guess I just needed to hear that to prepare for it.

[ He gives her a tiny smile. ] Besides, you're important too.

Yeah. I understand that, Merlin.

[She does. She really does.]

And as nice as it is to hear that, you...really should go see her. Soon.

[Rei doesn't want to push her friend away, but Athena is going to need him.]

[ He shifts slightly, eyes dropping back to his hands again. ]

I'm just worried I'll say the wrong thing. A lot's happened, it's hard trying to slot everything into place.

So, take it slowly. Just reach out to her, via text if you have to.

[Patting him on the shoulder, Rei tries to fill her voice with encouragement.]

She wants you back, she cares about you. You just have to show her that you do too. That's what she wants most.

Text wouldn't be good enough, I don't think. [ His jaw tenses a little, before he forces himself to relax. ]

I need to do it properly. I'll just take a ten minute walk then go and see if she's at her apartment. ...Are you going to be okay?

Me? I'm just fine.

[Merlin. You're the one who's upset. She's perfectly alright.]

I... didn't mean it like that.

[ He's really just checking if their time is up for today. ]

Go. See your girlfriend.

[Rei pops up and kisses him on the cheek.]

Shoo!

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