faithfulflame | Cerealia Overflow Inbox

[ He leans forward to look at her properly when she taps at herself, eyes instantly going back to her face. The possibility she presents is... fascinating, honestly. ]

Not really. There's still a lot we haven't really figured out in my time so...

Well, then allow me to explain. A past life is who you were before. The idea is that the soul lives on, in a new body. Or in my case?

[She presses her hand against her glowing heart.]

My heart.

[This is going to get long.]

A long, long time ago, I was the person you saw. Mars. The Goddess of Flames, Passion, and War. When she...I...died, my soul was cast forward in time, to be reborn again. It was the last wish of my queen that I and my companions have another chance at life.

Your heart. [ He repeats it back at her, still a bit perplexed by this. It shouldn't be all that surprising given how things work, but the way the Old Religion actually works it seems almost impossible to consider.

Then again, he's still only just learning about everything about that too.

Whatever thought he had about that goes out the window when she carries on though, and this time he can't help it when his voice grows louder. ]

You were a Goddess?!

[ He even interrupts... sorry, Rei. ]

[She stifles a laugh and nods, reaching out to take his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. Oh, Merlin. Whatever is she going to do with you?]

I was. Mars is. That...doesn't bother you, does it?

[ Just give him a moment. Even if the hand on his is calming, he's still trying to wrap his head around this. ]

Does it bother me? [ Well it seems like a mystery at first because he doesn't reply, but then he says- ] Of course it doesn't bother me, it's just... a surprise? I was hardly expecting you to say that. "Oh, by the way Merlin the truth is that I actually used to be a Goddess and now my heart unlocks my past self." That's something everyone suspects.

[She lets out that laugh now, shaking her head. She understands that. Really, she does.]

It should be. But I know...some people are a little unsure around me after they learn that. I am not human. I am something more. And I know that's a lot to take in, but that's the truth about me. I know it's a lot to take in, but there you have it.

[She frowns a little bit, looking at the ground.]

I'm supposed to use it to help people, and protect the future queen of my world. That's really my job. To protect the Earth, the entire solar system, and my princess. And to advise. It's not all that different from you, if you think about it.

Sounds difficult. [ He only has one small Kingdom to help form in comparison. He's at least understanding of her plight in that way, until he just... laughs. ]

In some ways, I don't transform into some kind of magical girl, after all.

[ A pause, he gives her a grin in return. ] But really, you don't have anything to worry about. You're still you.

I know that. I've been through a lot, and I have my memories of the past. But I've got my memories of my own life too.

[Thanks. It's nice to hear someone besides Usagi and the others saying that and really understanding it.]

My world is safe though. We won. Defeated every enemy that came at us, and now all there is to do is wait for the Princess to come of age and become the Queen.

[Sailor Moon, with her prince and her royal guard at her side.]

And though you don't transform, and your scope is smaller...you do know what I mean. I know you do. Responsibility is a heavy burden. [And even if his world isn't quite the same as the one she's heard of in the stories? She knows you are still you.]

It's nice, knowing that someone can really follow what I'm saying, however different our powers might be.

[ He takes a breath, stretches his legs out in front of him before he pulls them back to use them to lean his elbows on. ] You have other people with you though, don't you? Where I am... it's lonely. No one can know what I can do. Gaius and Lancelot are the only ones that do, and Lancelot left.

[ He looks towards his hands. ] Taking that by myself... of course I know what you mean. That feeling of responsibility. All of their lives in my hands.

It. It doesn't feel that lonely here.

[Rei lets out a long, slow breath, leaning forward and moving her hand up to grip Merlin's shoulders. Loneliness is a powerful emotion, one she knows all too well.]

It was lonely at first, for me too. I...when I was a child, I could always do things, see things other people couldn't. But then I found my people, the other guardians. And we connected. Became friends.

[And then she wasn't lonely anymore.]

You'll get there. Arthur will understand, one day. I know it, in my heart I know you're not going to be alone forever. [He's too likable. Too friendly.]

And you're definitely not alone here.

[ He glances up when she moves to grip his shoulder instead, but it's only a moment after that he turns his face away. There's a little bitterness to it, a little tiredness too from having to hide. ]

All I want is for Arthur to see me as who I really am... and accept me. I think I have a long way to go before that can happen.

[ A very long and lonely road awaits... ]

[Rei nods, getting that completely. She had hated it too, but here at least, and now at home, she didn't have to hide any longer.]

You'll get there. Time. That's the great uniter.

[ He claps his hands together, and while he wants to ask but how long do I have to live like that? he doesn't. ]

That's if I don't kill him for being an ass first.

[ So he jokes instead, gives Rei a smile like everything is 100% okay. ]

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