faithfulflame | Fourteenth Prayer: A Rekindling. [Video/Action]

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Fourteenth Prayer: A Rekindling. [Video/Action]

[It’s been a while since Rei could even find the time to make a broadcast over the network, and given her encounter with Anakin Skywalker the last time she’d offered to do flame readings she’s not going to be offering that today. Instead, she’s got a question, and now that her leg has gotten back to normal, there’s also a bit of housekeeping to take care of before some very, very important plans happen. As well as some admissions and requests to take care of.

So, early in the day, she addresses the journal with a forced smile, because one the questions is a little embarrassing. Normally she’d probably have just talked to Yukiko and Yu, but the Inaba teenagers have both seemingly departed now…which directly relates to the other subject at hand, in fact. Ami being gone didn’t help, of course.]

Video:

Hello everyone, this is Rei Hino. I’m afraid to say that most of the people helping me tend to Tsukino Shrine have departed Luceti. If there’s anyone who has free time and would be willing to help me maintain it, I would really appreciate the help. Some of the work that needs to be done simply needs more hands to be done. I’d be willing to repay anyone willing to help with things I’m able to make. If you’re interested, please let me know either here at the shrine or through the journal.

And secondly, I was wondering if anyone had some insight on some exercises for getting back a leg into shape after an injury? My leg was hurt badly recently, and I’m still a little shaky at times, enough so that I’m not comfortable with normal physical activity beyond walking. I don’t want to strain myself, but I would like to get back to normal as quickly as possible.

Thank you in advance for any help or advice.

[And then she closes the journal out.]

Action:

[Later in the day, Rei heads out to visit two very specific people. Raine Sage and Fayt Leingod can expect visits. Raine by Sailor Mars, and Fayt by Rei herself.

After that business is taken care of, Rei hits the shops and starts to gather up some things. Clothing, boxes of food, board games, and pastries in addition to food stuff and a bottle of wine. All the things one needs for an evening alone with her special someone.

And by nightfall, Rei’s got Tsukino Shrine all prepared for her promised evening with Fenimore. Some food, a present, futons, and all the things they might need for the next two evenings. Hopefully it will be a peaceful, uninterrupted night!]

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[Rei does sit down with Fenimore, squeezing her hand as reassuringly as she can. She does understand some of that, at least, well...she thinks she does anyway.]

Well, I certainly want to be as close to you as possible too, dear. But I don't want you to feel pressured. You can tell me however much or little as you want, whenever you feel right doing so. If that's tonight, or another night...or never? I'll accept that.

[Her head dips, her hand squeezes again, and she adds.]

But if you want to, I'm all ears. I'll be here beside you either way, though.

[Fenimore manages a sincerely grateful smile, briefly squeezing back. She appreciates the reassurance and support.]

Thank you. There is some of it that I don't know if I'll ever tell you, but...this much, I want to tell you tonight.

[She takes a deep breath and the smile fades, her expression turning a little more serious, but she doesn't look upset. The first part is something she finds much less hard to talk about. It still takes her a moment to find the right words, though, and she initially is looking at their joined hands when she speaks.]

...I've told you that the village I grew up in was isolated. That isolation wasn't an accident, or a coincidence. Ever since the fall of the Kingdom of Terises, all of the Ferines have lived in villages hidden by...it's a little like magic, though I never thought of it like that. We were hiding from humans.

[Now she looks up to meet Rei's eyes. She feels slightly awkward admitting some of it, but it doesn't even register on the list of things that are hard to admit. She wonders whether it will even be a surprise, given how nervous she'd been to admit to being Ferines to Rei and how she hides it from anyone she doesn't trust completely (and doesn't even tell some of the people she does).]

When I was a kid, I believed what the adults told me about humans: that they hated us, and that they would attack us if they ever found us. [She gives a wry half-smile.] I eventually learned that most humans in my world didn't even know we existed and thought that stories of us from the Kingdom of Terises were just legends, but, at the time, it made sense to me and it kept me from going past the barrier without permission. And, for the first fifteen years of my life, I never met one.

[Rei nods along with some of it, her expression soft and sincere. There really isn't much to say on her end of things, because she wants to process the information. She remembers when Fenimore mentioned she wasn't human, and she'd never really thought too much of it. It just wasn't a big deal, because what really mattered wasn't the stuff like that, but as someone who'd been a bit isolated growing up she can sympathize in her own way.

Though, hearing that she was hiding from humans for most of her life was a little odd. What were these humans like, and why hide from them?

It gets her thinking, which begs the question, even if it's somewhat obvious:]

And...then when you were fifteen, you did?

[Fenimore nods.]

There wasn't any warning -- at least, nothing that I could see. It seemed like a normal day at first. Then I heard some kind of commotion, but before I could tell what was going on, there were soldiers in red everywhere. It was an army, more humans than all of the Ferines I had ever met before, and they were attacking the village.

[Her expression is almost blank and she sounds like she's describing something that happened to someone else. It's almost easy to pretend it did, since everything happened so fast at the time.]

They killed anyone who fought back, and anyone who was about to escape. And some people they killed for no reason at all. Everyone else, they captured. ...A few people were away from the village at the time, my sister among them. But I don't think anyone else escaped.

[Now her expression is less blank, though it's only a small change: her lips tighten a little and her eyebrows bunch together slightly.]

I was one of the ones who got captured. One of the soldiers smashed my head against a wall and dropped me on the ground when I was stunned, to deal with me later, so I don't remember much of the attack. When they took us away, they finished burning our village to the ground.

[She looks down, breaking eye contact.]

Back then, I was sure that everything they'd told me about humans was true.

[Rei's expression changes from worry to one of absolute horror. That must have been a horrific experience, and it's no wonder Fenimore seemed to at least distrust humans at first. It's not like she could expect anything less after hearing that, and she's not even sure she could bring herself to forgive such an act. Which, in a way, raises her esteem for Fenimore even more.

She squeezes her girlfriend's hand, remaining silent save for a whisper.]

Spirits...I...I'm so sorry...

[She raises her head just high enough to look up at Rei, acknowledging the squeeze and the whisper. She's not sure what to say in response, but she appreciates it. She tries to convey that appreciation through her gaze, but she's not sure she manages it, since it is mostly lost in her otherwise tense and upset expression. After a moment, she just continues her story.]

They took us far from the village and locked the ones who survived the trip in a dungeon, underground. The soldiers there were...experimenting on Ferines.

[The word "experimenting" is said with great reluctance. That experience is why she always refers to what the Malnosso do as shifts rather than experiments. The ones done by the soldiers in red were done with what were identified as instruments of torture -- much more horrifying than what at least the usual Malnosso do.]

Not that they ever told us. All I knew was that they were taking people from the cells to torture, and no one survived more than a few sessions. There didn't seem to be a reason, but..."because we're Ferines and they're Orerines" -- I didn't think they needed any other reason.

[The words she's quoting come almost automatically -- it was something she'd said and thought many times as she tried to make sense of what was happening. She's only used the word Orerines a couple of times with Rei, back when she'd told her that she wasn't human, having explained then that that was what the Ferines called humans. She lowers her head again, not able to bring herself to look Rei in the eyes as she continues.]

The brave ones -- the ones who tried to escape, or the ones who let themselves be chosen so the soldiers wouldn't take someone else -- they were some of the first ones to die. I wasn't one of them. All I wanted to do was live. Even though there was almost no hope of rescue. Even though I knew that, if they didn't pick me, they would pick someone else. They would pick one of my friends. Even though I could hear what happened to the one they'd choose instead from my cell.

[She shudders. Her cell had been down the hall from the room where the soldiers had conducted the experiments, with only a few other cells between them. She couldn't avoid hearing some of it.]

But I wanted to live, so I kept my head down, and I stayed in the back of my cell, and I was -- lucky.

[The word's said with contempt, as she's not sure she can consider anything about that time lucky.]

So I survived even after I stopped hearing about anyone from my village, and then I still survived until the Ferines they brought in after me were all gone, too. And then I was the only one left, so I couldn't hide any longer. That's where I got the -- scars.

[She couldn't wrap her mind around thinking of them as a mark of triumph. Even if she didn't blame herself for her friends' deaths, not really, she'd kept from drawing the attention of the soldiers even as she knew they could easily choose one of her friends instead and she'd only gotten most of them after she couldn't run away from it any more.]

[A cold feeling comes over Rei when she hears that, and there really isn't much she can say. Her eyes squeeze shut, one hand comes up to her chest, and she bows her head. Her hand squeezes a little more tightly and she shifts, moving a fraction of an inch closer. She has no real way to even parse something that horrific, and it's beyond upsetting to think of Fenimore being cut or burned or whatever it was that these humans did to her.]

And...[Her voice is very small] How did you...escape?

[She takes a deep, uneven breath and lets it out slowly. How she escaped is a much easier tale to tell, which is a little relieving, though she still feels tense and upset from the rest of it, leaving her with a tight headache. She doesn't move any closer herself when she notices Rei start to move closer, but neither does she move away and she grips Rei's hand more tightly in return.]

Not long after I...became the last one [and thus was the one being experimented on] another Ferines was brought to the cell next to me, named Shirley. She rescued me -- Shirley, and her brother, and Walter. If it wasn't for them, I... [She swallows hard.] I nearly didn't make it, anyway. But one of the officers gave Shirley medicine for me.

[She doesn't actually know who administered that medicine when she was unconscious -- it was actually more likely the officer, Stingle, but she doesn't like to think of it like that. There's hatred in her voice as she says "one of the officers." Even though he saved her life by stopping the soldiers from killing her and treating her wounds ("showing off," as the soldiers put it), she hates him just as much as the other soldiers who had no such second thoughts -- maybe more, because he had the means to save the others who did die and he did nothing, even aiding the army that did this to her. She feels that might be worse.]

...I hated her, at first. Her brother, Senel, wasn't really her brother. They were just acting like that when they were in hiding. He was a human, and she was in love with him. A Ferines in love with a human, after everything they had done to us? I was disgusted.

[Her lips twist in what is supposed to be a sardonic smile -- look how that turned out for her -- but she's having trouble managing any form of smile right now, so it just looks off. It's a part of her past she would have usually been reluctant to admit to Rei, at least without a lot of reassurance that this was something she no longer thought at all, but after sharing so much of the grim parts of her past, it's easier for it to just slip out.]

She tried to tell me that he wasn't like the soldiers in red, that humans aren't all the same, but I refused to believe her and I called her a traitor. But even after everything I said and did, when Senel and his friends came to rescue her while we were being transferred, she gave herself up to the soldiers to stop them from catching me again, so that he'd find me instead of her. And instead of immediately going after Shirley like one of his friends suggested, he took the time to rescue me first. And I started to realize that Shirley might be right, after all.

[That, more than anything, draws Rei up short. She doesn't really know how to think of Fenimore as anything other than someone loving and kind. But then, she could completely and totally understand why she might feel that way about Shirley. And about Senel. She doubted she would've thought any different. Well...actually, she's fairly certain she'd have never been able to forgive any human.

It must have been a divisive issue between her and Shirley, and...for Fenimore to come to love her? A human? After that? It spoke volumes about how much either Fenimore had changed...or what kind of impression she'd made on her girlfriend.

She manages a weak smile, and a lame joke follows.]

Well. I...for one am glad you realized that.

[It had been a very divisive issue. It hadn't actually been enough on its own to lead Fenimore to really hate Shirley, as angry as she'd been when she'd learned it, but the reason that tipped her over to hate was very much tied up in their differing views on humans at the time, anyway. And, besides, it would take a lot of explaining when her previous hatred of humans explained it pretty well.

Still, weak though the joke might be, it almost gets Fenimore to smile -- at least, the edges of her lips turn up slightly.]

So am I. ...I owe Shirley a lot. Even if I had managed to get free some other way, if I hadn't met her, I don't know if I would have ever realized that my way of thinking was wrong -- at least, not completely. I still think of her as my best friend, three years since I last saw her. I didn't really tell her how much she means to me while she was here. I just...hoped it was obvious.

[She'd said some of it and had at least been clear about considering her her best friend, but she'd been reluctant to admit just how much she cared for her. And now she only had a few minutes left with Shirley for when she went back to Melfes, thanks to her upcoming death.]

She got rescued, in the end, by Senel and his friends. And by the Ferines who had gathered on the Legacy. And even by some other human country, who didn't want Vaclav -- the leader of those soldiers in red -- to get his hands on an ancient weapon. That's all he wanted, killing and torturing us like that; he was doing it for some weapon for his stupid, petty war!

[She looks furious, and she takes a moment to get herself under control enough to continue. If Rei ever asks, she'll explain how experimenting on Ferines leads to getting a weapon, but she's leaving it out for now -- both because it'd take some more explaining and because, well, it's not exactly a pleasant story given it ends with "a giant canon that is powered by Ferines lives." ~~Legendia is a fun game for happy people.~~]

Everyone worked together. I helped as much as I could, but...there wasn't really that much I could do when it came to a war. [In some ways this is true, but she did kind of figuratively punch above her weight for what she could do.] But, in the end, Vaclav was dead and his army was defeated. It should have been over. But...

[She clenches her free hand into a fist and, with her other hand, she squeezes Rei's hand more tightly. Her tone has been fairly distant, even dull sometimes, as she's talked about this, like she's telling a story of something that happened to someone else, but she starts sounding more worked up and heated as she continues.]

It doesn't feel like it's over for me, sometimes. I still hate the soldiers that did this to me, and I hate that some of them survived, as prisoners or, worse, the ones who escaped. I...I wish they were dead, and I hate them so much I can't stand it. I can't stand that, even as prisoners, that they aren't all dead. And I'm scared. I'm still scared something like that is going to happen again. I wake up some nights from nightmares that I'm back in the cells, or I'm back in my village when it was burning down around me. And I don't tell people I don't already trust I'm Ferines because I'm scared that there's going to be someone who will think of me the way some of the humans back in my world thought of me. Even when I told you, there was still a part of me that worried that maybe I was wrong, that maybe you'd think less of me for not being human. None of the other Ferines that have been in Luceti ever had any problems like that! Even the ones who had been through the sorts of things I had never felt the need to hide who they were! One or two of them agreed to not talk about it to make me feel better, but none of them had a problem with it! It's just me.

[For a moment, she sounds like she's stopping, but then she starts speaking again, her tone just as emotional.]

And I hate the...the scientists that are doing all of these shifts, because they make me think of the last time I was -- was experimented on. And I'm scared of them, so much that I have trouble even saying their name, as if it'll catch their attention so that I'll get kidnapped, and it'll be like back then.

[It may be a rogue cell of Malnosso doing the mallynaps these days, but Fenimore doesn't entirely trust that. It seems like the Malnosso change leaders and philosophies far too easily for her to believe that those rogue Malnosso won't become the leaders of the organization again.]

And it makes me realize that it's not just the soldiers from back home. That hatred is part of me. I don't like that part of myself, that part that hates people so much that I -- that I want them to die, and that gets so angry and scared and -- I try to ignore it when I can, but it's there. I can feel all those ugly emotions in me like a knot in my chest that isn't going away.

That's why I hate my scars. Because it reminds me of that part of me. And, more than that, it reminds me of memories of that time, and...and some of the things I did to survive that I'm not proud of. And...they make me feel flawed and ugly. When you saw them and felt them...I couldn't ignore them.

[She bows her head, shoulders hunched tensely.]

So...now you know.

[Through all of that, Rei remains just as silent, her slightly amused smile fading into something much more serious. She squeezes back, reassuring, and now she finally scoots just a fraction closer, so her shoulder is touching Fenimore’s. She’d rather provide some sense of solidarity. A part of what Fenimore says rings fairly true with Rei as well, with her feelings about men…but Luceti had been a catalyst for change.

And by the sounds of it, it had for her girlfriend too. And that means, at least to her, that it’s a worthwhile place. Yes the experiments are awful…but…]

Well, I know now, yes. And you know that to me, you being a different kind of person is so not even close to making me think less of you. I’m…not even technically human myself, in a lot of ways, so really I just think it makes us a bit closer.. So, you never, ever have to worry about that. With me, or Ami-chan or Minako-chan. I promise that. And I also promise that if the Malnosso send any droids to try and take you away? I’ll fight to protect you. I know it might not sound like much, but I’ve fought off the droids once, when they came for Usagi-chan a long time ago, so it can be done.

[She pauses, letting that sink in. And then, the shoujo speech comes out, Rei’s voice full of conviction and strength.]

And…you know that I really…can’t fault you for hating people. After that. I have some mental scars of my own. But I’m getting over them. Luceti, and being around you and other people has helped me move past that. So, I hope that you’ll let me help you start to at least come to terms with that. Because I love you, I love you so much…and I don’t think you’re anything less than beautiful.

Edited 2014-07-13 05:45 (UTC)

[Fenimore's breath quickens just slightly at the shoulder contact. When she is deep into thinking about the harder parts of her past, she often finds physical contact hard. It isn't that she doesn't find it comforting -- it is -- but it's easier to deal with her feelings about that time if she remains distant and prickly, even if Rei is on the fairly short list of people she is more physically affectionate with. Still, this time, she's trying to be open about her past, rather than trying to pretend it doesn't exist like usual, so she tries to take comfort from the solidarity rather than shying away from it. She rests a little of her weight against Rei's shoulder -- just enough for the motion to be felt as a way of communicating that she appreciates the gesture despite the small amount of tension it brings. It's just hard to reverse years of pushing people away when it comes to this part of her past.

Her head remains bowed at first as she listens to Rei's response, but she raises it quickly when Rei says that she'd fought off the droids, staring at her girlfriend with eyes slightly wider than usual. She knew that it had been done in the past, since a couple of such fights had been mentioned over the journals, but she'd been too wary to look into what happened, so she'd assumed this to be sufficiently rare an occurance for only the most powerful people in Luceti and so wouldn't ever have anything to do with her. This sudden reassurance that she might be able to be saved from such a thing is almost shocking. It may still be a "might," but it's not an empty might when Rei has done it before and, while she's tried to keep from thinking about it, the mallynaps have been a low-level fear in the back of her head since the one time it had happened to her.

The surprise is enough to at least partially break through her instincts to close off from comfort about this, leaving her more open to the shoujo speech where she might have otherwise let most of it wash over her. It allows it to touch her more deeply than it might otherwise have, and it takes her some time to reply. She doesn't want to risk even the chance of crying, however moved she might be. When she does reply, she looks away slightly.]

...I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to come to terms with it. I don't know if I'm even ready to start trying to move past it yet. Talking about it -- even thinking about it hurts.

[She is at least admitting to the possibility of working on it, which is in itself an improvement from her steadfast refusal to get therapy like Grune insists whenever she gets her memories back because Fenimore is the worst role model ever please do not be following her unhealthy methods of dealing with trauma. She doesn't say anything for a moment, but then she leans against Rei and squeezes her hand. She kind of wants to hug Rei, but she's not ready just yet. She needs to settle her feelings more. This much contact, though, she can and wants to take. Her voice is a little thick as she continues, very moved, but the little dampness of her eyes is quickly blinked away.]

But...thank you. I'm so grateful that you're -- [So accepting? So loving? Fenimore struggles through adjectives, trying to find the right word for her feelings, but she can't find the right one now. In the end, she gives up finding the right word.] I'm so glad you're you. I love you, too. I really, really love you.

[Rei notices that shift in Fenimore's sense, the tension making her wonder if the touch was too much, but when Fenimore moves to lean slightly against her she decides not to pull away. She's silent for a long moment, looking down at her lap and nodding. She does understand, and opts for quiet rather than an immediate talk.

It feels like there's something she should say, but...she's struggling to figure out words for anything, really. Eventually, all she does say is.]

I'm glad. I'll be here for you, however you want. Whenever you want.

[Because that's what's important, really. And...after all that she really, really just wants to give Fenimore a hug.]

[Fenimore smiles at those words -- still a somewhat small smile, but it's much more natural than her attempts while she was telling her story. She still feels somewhat emotionally compromised, an unsettled feeling deep in her stomach and a knot in her chest, but she also feels the warmth of being loved throughout her body.]

Thank you. It makes me feel really happy to know you're here for me. And loved.

[She falls silent for a moment before resting her head against Rei's shoulder and closing her eyes.]

Can we stay like this, for a little while? I...I want to hold you, but I don't think I could do it for very long.

[She considers this sentence in her mind and hastily tries to reassure, opening her eyes again.]

It's nothing to do with you! That I wouldn't be able to do it very long, I'm just...a little shakey after that. [Not physically, but "a little" is a bit of an understatement emotionally.] But this is...relaxing.

[She is slowly starting to relax, both physically and emotionally. She tries to look over at Rei's face -- well, as much as she can see it from resting her head on Rei's shoulder.]

I'm sorry. Maybe it's a little silly, to be this...touch-shy when it comes to talking about this, even with you. But this is easier. And I don't think I could do even this much with anyone else, but with you, it's comforting.

[Well, maybe there's two or three other people she could manage it with, but that's counting people who aren't even in Luceti to be even that many. Still, she feels a bit bad for resisting touch as much as she has been while talking about this, even if it's not really something she can help.]

[Rei waves her hand dismissively, nodding, and rolling her shoulder just a little bit so Fenimore can get more comfortable.]

Of course we can dear. I understand completely. We can do whatever you want tonight, okay? As much or as little. I'm perfectly okay with a lazy, tender evening sitting just like this.

[Fenimore nods slightly -- with her position, even a small movement like that will probably be able to even be felt -- before settling her head comfortably and turning her gaze outward. The next part is easier to say when she's not quite looking at Rei.]

Actually, I...want to try again. What we were doing last night before I -- interrupted it. Not right now, but when I calm down, I think I'll be ready. I want to be ready. It's not that I wouldn't enjoy a lazy, tender evening like this, but...I also want to...do that with you. If you want to, too.

[She's blushing pretty hard by the end of it ~~but not frowning even though that's all the blushy icons I have~~. The previous night had been more-or-less falling into it after getting carried away by passion. Talking about it, planning about it with much more definite timing than when the topic had come up back at the clinic, carried a fair amount of embarrassment, she felt.]

[Cue a very, very deep blush from Rei as well. She can't even manage to look at Fenimore, hearing that. But there's a very, very barely perceptible nod. Because she...does...want to. Last night had been slightly frustrating...but...she'd dealt with it because, y'know...it was the right thing to do.

But if Fenimore wanted to?]

I...do. Yes, I'd...very much like that, I think. A lot...

[Fenimore feels a shiver run up her spine. It's not that the response is unexpected -- Rei had seemed just as into it last night -- but actually hearing it is an entirely different experience from guessing it. She's glad to be able to make up for that frustration, but that's a fortunate side-effect rather than a reason wanting to. The only reason she actually needs is that she wants to do it, too, and she's found her own frustration in holding back all day, knowing that she needed to have this conversation first. It's not enough to solve her issues and she knows she's still going to be self-conscious of her scars, but it is enough for Fenimore to know (and feel, which is harder) that Rei loves her and finds her beautiful regardless of her scars and her past -- though she thinks of it as "in spite of." Accepting that it's not "in spite of" will take longer, but this much is enough so that the self-consciousness won't grow into the jumble of negative emotions that had swallowed her last night.

She manages to turn even more red and squeezes Rei's hand again, lightly.]

Good. I'm...glad. I feel the same way.

[A lot, for sure. ...She kind of regrets that she said this now, when she's still not fully ready, because there's a part of her that just wants to go right now and it's going to take a lot of willpower to restrain herself until she knows she is ready.

But restrain herself she does. The evening goes on, in that lazy and tender way, and she does enjoy that time spent with her girlfriend. Still, a few hours later, she takes a hold of Rei's hand again and tells her that she's ready. Having to start by talking about it rather than just letting her feelings carry her away leaves her with more of a sense of nervous trepidation to begin, but it doesn't take long for her passion to sweep through her like it had at the beginning of last night, and then....]

[Morning. Though it had happened the previous morning, waking up intertwined with another person is still an unusual feeling, and unless Rei had bothered to get dressed again before falling asleep, Fenimore wouldn't have made the effort, which would make it a completely unique feeling if so. As she begins to stir, it takes her a moment to realize where she is and what exactly she's feeling.

As she begins to open her eyes and she sees her girlfriend's face next to hers, memories of last night flood in. There's some embarrassment that comes with them as she remembers the noises she'd made and the way she'd fumbled sometimes from inexperience.

(The former was more of a surprise than the latter: it would have been silly to expect to be completely smooth with her first time, but she would not have expected that she would turn out to be so...vocal about it all. She may not have been loud -- very little would have made it through even one wall -- but she's realizing now that she's not too caught up in the moment to realize what she's doing that she'd made a lot of noises. That's an embarrassing discovery about herself.)

But the embarrassment is, for the moment, almost entirely overshadowed by happiness and love. Sure, with neither of them having done anything like this before, they wouldn't have done anything groundbreaking, but the intimate moment had felt special and incredible to her. She smiles warmly, her eyes still only halfway open but her gaze full of affection, and the smile only grows when she notices Rei is awake -- either right away, if Rei is already awake by this point, or after Rei opens her eyes, if she isn't yet.]

Good morning, love.

[Rei rolls over at the sound of that voice, lazily resting a hand on her chest as she blinks sleep out of her eyes. The memories of the night before are crystal clear and in a way she's a little surprised with herself. Laying there with nothing but sheets on next to someone is oddly nice, in a way she never expected. It's homey, cozy, and a very pleasant reminder of some very pleasant things.

She was equally embarrassed about some of the things she'd done, though noise is not one of them. There had been some awkward moments, uncertain flashes of insecurity, but all in all she'd enjoyed herself and had the impression her girlfriend had too. And that alone fills her with happiness. The love pouring from Fenimore's sense is returned as well, as the feeling of warm skin against her is an even more wonderful reminder that she'd shared something very intimate with someone very special.]

And good morning to you, dear. Did you sleep well?

[Fenimore hadn't expected how pleasant it would be to be next to someone in only the sheets, either -- well, outside of the context of what happened last night. That she'd expected as going to be pleasant. But this cozy moment had its own charms, and she'd not expected to feel this comfortable about it, either, with her issues. It's a very nice surprise.]

I don't think I've slept this well in a very long time. [She chuckles.] I didn't know that was another benefit to this.

[Some of that was just because of how content she feels waking up next to Rei, but it was true that it had been one of the better sleeps she'd had. Sleeping next to her girlfriend does wonders for keeping her from having any nightmares and for relaxing her, and the activity from the previous night had helped tire her out for bed a little.

She puts an arm around Rei's waist and snuggles in a little closer, enjoying the warmth from both Rei's skin and loving gaze.]

What about you? I hope I didn't wake you.

[Rei smiles a little bashfully, sitting up on her elbows and covering herself with the blanket. Even after all that, there was a modicum of modesty that she expected herself to maintain. That was only proper.]

I didn't either...but I definitely slept much better than I have in ages.

[She leans into the embrace, sinking back down lower and cuddling up against her girlfriend. The mingling sense of warmth is genuinely electrifying, the simple pleasure of being touched in such a fashion something she'd rarely ever felt.]

You didn't wake me. And I wouldn't mind if you did, since it means sharing this with you.

[Leaning in, she kisses Fenimore gently, nothing lingering...but definitely affectionate.]

I never dreamed I'd...do something like this, honestly.

[Fenimore wouldn't mind if Rei didn't maintain that modicum, proper or no.... She understands, though. She has her own concerns of modesty, even if they are satisfied by just being mostly under the sheets, and she would have needed to find her own way to cover herself if they weren't there. After all, this is still a very new thing. Still, it speaks volumes of how much more secure she feels in Rei's presence now that she isn't moving to cover any scars that are visible, though she's still trying to forget they exist.]

I'm glad that I was able to change your mind.

[She blushes. While it's not what she meant, it feels a little full of herself to suggest she was responsible for making Rei change her mind about this sort of thing -- though, she supposes there's some truth to it. And then she's also blushing because some of the reasons she was glad that Rei'd changed her mind were a bit shallower than others.]

For more than just the...obvious reasons, I mean. Sharing that moment with you felt -- really special. I might have dreamt that I would, someday, [~~lately in great detail~~] but I never imagined it would be this wonderful. Or that I could be so happy sharing this moment with you, too.

[Well, it was more wonderful than she'd imagined in some ways, at least. In some ways, it hadn't gone as well -- she'd not imagined awkward moments of not knowing what to do, for one -- but there were more ways that it was better than not. And even if it hadn't been, her heart is much too full for her to be at all objective right now. She kisses Rei, equally as gentle and affectionate as Rei had been.]

I love you. So much.

[Well, it's certainly reassuring to hear that Fenimore had been dreaming about it too, because she certainly had. More than once...and in rather explicit detail as well. Parts of her were really glad she'd gone through with it, even if it had been a little nervous at times. And those awkward moments had definitely enhanced those fears, but in the end it'd all worked out.

She grins at the statement, nodding.]

I love you too. For...so many reasons it hurts.

[Breaking down barriers, accepting her for who she was too, and just...treating her like she was normal. Sure, maybe some of her quirks didn't really apply to someone who grew up around magic...but where Rei was from? That was all a bit of a big deal.]

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...I don't even know what icon should be used here since she goes through so many emotions.

Re: ...I don't even know what icon should be used here since she goes through so many emotions.

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