faithfulflame | Fourteenth Prayer: A Rekindling. [Video/Action]

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Fourteenth Prayer: A Rekindling. [Video/Action]

[It’s been a while since Rei could even find the time to make a broadcast over the network, and given her encounter with Anakin Skywalker the last time she’d offered to do flame readings she’s not going to be offering that today. Instead, she’s got a question, and now that her leg has gotten back to normal, there’s also a bit of housekeeping to take care of before some very, very important plans happen. As well as some admissions and requests to take care of.

So, early in the day, she addresses the journal with a forced smile, because one the questions is a little embarrassing. Normally she’d probably have just talked to Yukiko and Yu, but the Inaba teenagers have both seemingly departed now…which directly relates to the other subject at hand, in fact. Ami being gone didn’t help, of course.]

Video:

Hello everyone, this is Rei Hino. I’m afraid to say that most of the people helping me tend to Tsukino Shrine have departed Luceti. If there’s anyone who has free time and would be willing to help me maintain it, I would really appreciate the help. Some of the work that needs to be done simply needs more hands to be done. I’d be willing to repay anyone willing to help with things I’m able to make. If you’re interested, please let me know either here at the shrine or through the journal.

And secondly, I was wondering if anyone had some insight on some exercises for getting back a leg into shape after an injury? My leg was hurt badly recently, and I’m still a little shaky at times, enough so that I’m not comfortable with normal physical activity beyond walking. I don’t want to strain myself, but I would like to get back to normal as quickly as possible.

Thank you in advance for any help or advice.

[And then she closes the journal out.]

Action:

[Later in the day, Rei heads out to visit two very specific people. Raine Sage and Fayt Leingod can expect visits. Raine by Sailor Mars, and Fayt by Rei herself.

After that business is taken care of, Rei hits the shops and starts to gather up some things. Clothing, boxes of food, board games, and pastries in addition to food stuff and a bottle of wine. All the things one needs for an evening alone with her special someone.

And by nightfall, Rei’s got Tsukino Shrine all prepared for her promised evening with Fenimore. Some food, a present, futons, and all the things they might need for the next two evenings. Hopefully it will be a peaceful, uninterrupted night!]

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Fenimore...

[What else could she say? And even that was somewhat muffled by Fenimore's neck, because sensing that her girlfriend is really enjoying this...she's not letting up on the kissing. While her mouth works, though, her hands are not idle. They slide back up towards the yukata, beginning to slowly unhook some of the clasps, the soft rustle of fabric accompanying the motion.]

[Fenimore makes no secret that she is enjoying this, making quiet pleased sounds every time that Rei does something she particularly likes. There may be another good reason to do this in a place as isolated as the shrine rather than an empty apartment if Fenimore turns out to be so vocal about the entire thing, even if she has yet to be loud.

She wants to be able to do to her girlfriend what her girlfriend is doing for her, to make her feel as good of things as she is feeling, but her options are limited in this position and she has no desire to stop Rei doing what she's doing early. She does remember her hands again, returning them to motion as she works to remove what barriers remain between her and being able to remove Rei's yukata. Her fingers are a little clumsy, as distracted as she is, but the motions are sure. She may have not understood the obi when she'd first tried on her own yukata, but she'd figured out how to put on the rest of it well enough to know how to undo the procedure. When she reaches the collar, she slips her fingers underneath, stroking gently across the nape of Rei's neck before ghosting around her shoulders towards her collarbone. The motion begins to open up the top of the yukata just a little, and Fenimore hesitates in indecision for the moment between trying to open it more or merely exploring beneath with her hands. As she considers her choices, she continues to stroke from Rei's neck to a little below the collarbone.]

Edited 2014-06-27 07:49 (UTC)

[Feeling those hands against her neck is nothing short of a shock. The intimate touch, for the first time really...ever...draws out a gasp from Rei and her whole body rings with enjoyment. It, of course, only urges her onward. Her fingers continue to unhook things, and with a little brush of her hand, Fenimore's yukata starts to slide down a bit to bare her shoulders.]

Fenimore...

[Another breathy recitation of the name is followed by a passionate kiss, her lips pressing hard against her girlfriend's. If there was ever any doubt about wanting to go further tonight, it's gone now. She's not sure she can restrain her inner passion any more.]

[As the yukata slides down her shoulders, it will eventually reveal the mottled blotch of an old burn on Fenimore's right shoulder. There's a few spots between her collarbone and the beginning of the curve of her breast and one spot at the top of her arm that suggests that the burn used to cover a larger area, but the skin in between these spots and the main blotch has since healed.

Fenimore hasn't noticed this, no matter how much she had previously been worried about her scars since they'd talked about this being a possibility. She is far too distracted to think of that now, her mind clouded by the desire to feel as much of Rei as she can and the desire to have Rei do the same in return. She returns the kiss every ounce as passionately as she slowly moves her hands over Rei's shoulders to push aside the material.

She breaks the kiss only long enough to breathe:] I love you. [And then she is eagerly kissing down Rei's jawline and then down her neck. Partway, she stops just long enough to whisper Rei's name so close that her breath can be felt against Rei's neck before continuing towards where her neck meets her shoulder.]

[Seeing the scars on Fenimore is a bit of a shock, but not enough of one to stop her. Her hand reaches up to slide along the blonde's shoulder and the other moves up to tenderly cup her cheek.]

And I love you too...

[As Fenimore's hands push aside more of her yukata, Rei's skin begins to prickle with goosebumps. It's not chilly, but the pale skin clearly doesn't get a lot of sunlight, and the breath and excitement and kisses and everything there is just serving to really truly get her well and truly lost in a maddeningly passionate moment. The hand she'd had on Fenimore's shoulder begins to slide down, tracing a gentle line down part of the scar completely incidentally. Normally she might wonder about them, but tonight? No. Not at all. There's absolutely no reason to even think about them, because they're just a part of who her girlfriend is.]

[Fenimore freezes as she feels Rei's hand over the scar, almost wincing as she becomes suddenly re-aware of it. All of the worry she'd had over Rei seeing her various scars had come back and it breaks through her desire-addled state -- which is quite the feat when she'd been so completely lost in passion. It hadn't broken the mood for her entirely, but it had put a damper on it and had left her stomach feeling twisted in a knot. But...Rei isn't saying anything about it, even though she must have noticed. Maybe she didn't think it was such a big deal, at least for this one.

After no more than a couple of seconds, Fenimore takes a deep breath and forces herself to stop thinking about her scars and what her girlfriend might think, returning to the task of peppering her girlfriend's neck with kisses. Though the worried knot doesn't leave her stomach, it doesn't take much for her excitement and desire to return: not when she was seeing and feeling and kissing parts of Rei that had previously been always under clothes, and certainly not when she was feeling her girlfriend's touch on places that no one had touched her before.

Her fingers trace small circles on Rei's back just below where her hands rest on those bare shoulders as, with deliberate slowness, she begins to move her kissing lower than Rei's neck. When her chin rustles the fabric of the yukata, she lingers, exploring the immediate area with her lips, as she pushes aside more of the yukata to reveal a little more skin with that same slowness, her hands never completely leaving contact with Rei's bare skin. She's finding it nearly impossible to maintain the leisurely pace, as parts of her are screaming with impatience to see and touch more of her beautiful girlfriend, but the pace is helping her return to her previous level of passion. And, well, she's hoping the anticipation may be exciting Rei as well.]

[Rei doesn't even notice Fenimore's reaction, so intent is she to get more of the cloth out of the way. Matching Fenimore's slowness is extremely difficult as the touches are driving her a little mad, and she's having to restrain herself from just tearing the fabric out of the way. And she can't really kiss her girlfriend with Fenimore's head against her neck, so she just starts trailing little lines in bare skin with her fingernails while she pulls the yukata a little lower.]

Fenimore... [That's all the words that really come to mind, as excited and worked up as she is...]

[Eager to feel more of Fenimore, one hand slide up under the fabric, touching skin and feeling every bump of scarring she might have there. It doesn't put her off in the slightest, since it's a part of her lovely girlfriend and she's perfectly content with that. It isn't like she's without a few scars of her own, though they're in different places, and not as extensive. Honestly, she contemplates pushing her down and just pulling off the clothes to kiss those scars, but the passionate kisses on her collar are just too good.

But she may, in time.]

[Driving Rei a little mad is exactly the result Fenimore is aiming for, to build the passion even higher behind that dam of restraint, so that when one of them releases it, it will come flooding out. Her own restraint is growing tenuous, and she shivers at Rei's touch and hearing her beautiful girlfriend say her name with such desire.

But then Rei's hand is running over her scars again and she tenses, feeling a wave of revulsion for her own body sweep over her. She doesn't think about the scars much normally, content to leave them hidden under her clothes, from herself as much as from the rest of the world, but what that really means is that she's let it stew in the back of her mind for years. Now, though, with her body slowly being revealed and with Rei's hand on the scar, she's feeling extremely aware of each one. Some of them have healed over the years, but there's still a couple on her legs, one running up just above her hip, and a few on her arms, especially a particularly large and ugly one on her left arm. And then there's her back: many of the scars there have healed over the years, but there are still the two long, deep ones running nearly the whole length of her back that she wonders if will ever heal. She's aware of them, and they make her feel ugly and flawed. And then she looks at Rei -- as far as she can see, her girlfriend's skin is flawless and she's absolutely beautiful. It excites her and yet, at the same time, it makes her a little jealous as well. She knows she shouldn't, but she can't help it.

But Rei isn't saying anything. Maybe she doesn't mind, although, in her current mindset, Fenimore can't understand how. She trusts Rei to be honest and upfront, so maybe she should assume that's how it is, but she can't help a little feeling in the back of her mind like she's waiting for the other shoe to drop. And, somehow, she manages to simultaneously feel stupid and petty for feeling about herself this way and especially for that jealousy. Rei isn't acting like she minds. She's just the one hung up on it like this.

She grits her teeth for a moment. She wishes she were better about this, because she does want to continue. Despite the onslaught of negative emotions, she's still desperately turned on. She wants it so badly. It's just harder to enjoy the moment through this swirl of emotions, especially since dwelling on the scars is only making it easier for memories of where they came from to try to poke through. If only she were normal....

She needs a moment before she'll be able to face continuing kissing down Rei's skin when both lust and envy are fighting it out inside. She takes another deep breath and then moves up to capture her girlfriend's lips again, kissing hard and holding her tightly, trying to burn out these twisted feelings in the heat of passion.

But she's not sure it'll work.]

[Rei, for her part, is just as wrapped up in desire. Her lips parting in a barely audible gasp for air, she sucks in breath after breath, heart pounding in her ears. Her skin feels practically molten, and each heated kiss pushes her further and further past the point of no return. Her fingers keep searching, probing and sliding down towards her girlfriend’s breast. She’s not sure exactly what she’s supposed to do there, but her hands move all on their own, trying to remove more of the fabric.

And it’s then that the wave of negative emotions comes crashing down over her. Rei’s empathic senses have always been keen, but never moreso than when she was near someone that she genuinely cared about. It’d helped her figure things out about the other senshi’s moods and emotions without giving away her own, and helped her understand all of her friends here more. And it’d also helped her grow closer to Fenimore.

Which is why that sudden wash of negativity is both shocking and unsettling. And the kiss that follows it even moreso, because Rei knows that deep down Fenimore is trying to hide that, lose herself in the moment and forget something. Which darkens Rei’s mood by degrees, making her feel like she’s prying and intruding on some secret pain she shouldn’t know about. So, while she does return the kiss, she’s a little bit unsure of what to do from here.

On the one hand, her whole body is desperately crying out to jump on Fenimore, push her down and cover her in affection to burn away those emotions. On the other, she’s beginning to spiral into her own negative emotions, a cycle of faint memories of being called a freak, accused of witchcraft, and growing up around people unwillingto treat her like a person. These situations bring out the worst in her, those dark thoughts and hated secrets, so once the kiss breaks she renews it in a desperate bid to recapture the moment.

Hopefully she hasn’t ruined it by being a freak…]

Edited 2014-06-29 04:27 (UTC)

[It had been an incredible moment, one where every nerve seemed to sing at Rei's touch and where she'd felt such incredible joy and love on top of the lust. But, while that desire remains, it's being choked by the negative emotions flooding her. She could still continue, and perhaps some of it she would still enjoy. But it no longer feels right. She has no psychic powers, but she feels like there's something off, like something has changed in Rei, too, even if she can't be as certain through her more mundane senses.

She returns the renewed kiss for a few seconds, just as desperate, in the hope that this is going to pass. Eventually, though, she brings her hands back up to her girlfriend's shoulders -- this time, to push her away. There's almost no force behind the push: only enough for Rei to feel it. She breaks away.]

I'm sorry. I -- I can't do this right now. I -- I'm sorry.

[She can't even look Rei in the eye right now. On top of everything else, she's now feeling like a bad girlfriend for having to do this to her. She feels the need to explain herself, to tell Rei that it's not her, it's Fenimore, but she doesn't know how to say it just yet.

Fenimore doesn't apologize much, at least not in so many words. Usually, she only does it over something major that she feels directly responsible for, or when she's feeling particularly vulnerable. Right now, she's feeling both.]

[An incredible moment is right, but one that quickly comes to a halt when she feels Fenimore push her away. She doesn’t resist, and her hands move away from where they’d been to rest against her girlfriend’s forearms. A gentle touch, and one that she hopes isn’t pushing some boundary. Admittedly, she’s a little confused but what the other girl says definitely gets her attention.

Taking a deep breath, Rei nods, reining in her surging emotions so that she can try and comfort her girlfriend. Whatever this is, it’s definitely big, and she has a bit of a hunch.]

Fenimore? Are…what’s wrong? Is it…something you want to talk about?

[She leans her head closer, looking up with as comforting an expression as she can muster.]

[Fenimore doesn't answer immediately. Her first instinct is to say no. She doesn't really want to talk about it. In the four and a half years she's been in Luceti, she's kept this part of her a secret from nearly everyone -- the only two people she'd told anything to had already pieced together enough to guess most of it, and they'd just come off a shift wherein they'd believed that they were family for over a week. And it had been a far less charged moment when she had. For most people, she would take the opportunity to say no.

But...this was Rei. Rei, who always spoke the truth and had shared one of her most important secrets with her. Rei, who had told her that she thought of Fenimore as honest. Most importantly, Rei, who she loves. There's a part of Fenimore, a part that she's let decide a lot of her actions, that wants to only show Rei her best sides to impress her. But there's also a part of her that knows that that only works for so long. If she tries to hide this, it's not going to get fixed. Maybe a part of her -- a fairly large part, if she's honest with herself -- wants to do these things with Rei because it feels wonderful and she is extremely attracted to her, but there's also that part that wants to become closer to Rei and become more intimate. That second part isn't going to work if she keeps holding back so much of herself. And, in the long run, neither is their relationship. And she wants it to work. If she really loves Rei, and if she wants Rei to really love her, she can't keep all of her secrets.

It's still really hard, though.]

I -- it's hard to -- I don't really know how to say it.

[She'd tensed a little when Rei laid her hands on her forearms, but that tension is easing out. It is comforting, as is Rei's expression, though she keeps changing from meeting Rei's eyes to looking away and then back again.]

It's just...I didn't really want you to see my scars. The ones you did, and the ones you haven't seen yet. They make me feel -- like there's something wrong with me. I try to pretend they're not there, but when you touched them -- I can't. And I feel...ugly.

[Sensing the tension, Rei briefly toys with the idea of releasing Fenimore and just backing up to give her some space, but thankfully that fades. The negative emotions she’s sensing, though, do keep her quiet for a long moment too. She understands that there are some things her girlfriend may not want to talk about, and she has some of those sorts of secrets herself. The dream shifter is a big one. But that’s not really something she should be worrying about, even if it is something that’s on her mind. So, listening, she closes her eyes and shakes her head.

Scars. Scars she can understand. And feeling that there’s something wrong with her? That she can relate to all to well, for different reasons. Her power, her father abandoning her, her schoolmates avoiding her. The accusations of witchcraft. All of those emotional scars only made it easier to empathize with Fenimore.

Rei exhales slowly before she responds, a full minute having passed in silence.]

Fenimore. I don’t think they make you ugly. I’d never, ever think that you’re anything less than beautiful.

[Her grip loosens a bit, hands moving up to pull the blonde girl into a loose hug.]

I actually think that they’re sort of attractive. Don’t…misunderstand me. Whatever happened to you…whenever you feel like you want to tell me about it…is horrible. But scars aren’t something to be ashamed of. My friend used to tell me that scars are a mark of triumph. A badge of honor.

Those scars, to me? Are a mark of just how tough my girlfriend is. You were put in a bad situation and you survived. They tell me a story I didn’t know about you, and that only brings us closer together. For me, a soldier? I don’t know if I’d want to date someone who didn’t have a few scars. I want to be with someone who survives, not someone who gives up. And in a way, the scars you have prove that I made the right decision to date you…and fall in love with you.

Edited 2014-06-29 20:02 (UTC)

[Fenimore doesn't entirely know what to think about that. Some of it she is relieved to hear and it helps to soothe some of her feelings. Some of it she can't agree with at all. And some of it manages to do both at once. She's not sure how that works, but her emotions are a whole mess of confusion right now. The hug, she does appreciate, even if she doesn't return it, but she is at the same time glad that it is a loose one. She needs that little bit of distance right now.

As Rei finishes speaking, Fenimore's body starts to shake a little.]

I'm -- but I'm not tough. There wasn't anything triumphant, or honorable, or -- I just hid. I was scared and I hid, and I let them kill my friends and everyone else because I didn't want them to pick me.

[She shakes her head.]

I'm not like you. I'm not a solider, I'm just -- I was scared and I was lucky. I didn't do anything to be proud of to get these scars. And I hate that they left their mark on me, and I hate that I can't do anything about it, and I hate that I can't do anything about them. I don't want to remember anything about it, but I can't forget it and I hate it!

[Rei lets go and sits back on her heels, pulling up her yukata with a shrug of her shoulders. A trick she’d learned as a child, and one that seemed handy now. Her hands, though, go back to Fenimore’s and squeeze softly.]

You survived, Fenimore. There’s strength in that. At least, that’s how I see it. And I am so, so sorry that you had to suffer through that. But you’re here, right here with me. Someone who loves you very much.

[Again she leans down to peer up at Fenimore, an almost birdlike gesture that she hopes might placate her girlfriend even more. She can see the tension, and the shaking is starting to worry her. She's not really sure how she can stop her from crying, but she desperately wants that not to happen. Tonight was supposed to be a happy time, a time for them to share together. With or without the physical element. That was all forgotten, her cheeks no longer burning, the lust long sense faded away.]

And I’m telling you now that your scars aren’t ugly. They’re a part of you. A beautiful, amazing girl that I’m very much in love with. Believe me, even if you grew a second head I’d still think you were beautiful. And you never, ever need to worry about that changing.

[Fenimore actually chuckles at the second head comment, though there's a timbre to it that suggests that she was in danger of crying. Still, Fenimore doesn't cry easily and she takes enough comfort from Rei that the worst she gets is watery eyes. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she blinks away most of the wetness, though she remains a little shakey.]

I wish it wasn't a part of me.

[She doesn't feel strong or especially beautiful right now. But she does feel loved, and that helps, at least a little. She's still feeling quite down, but her emotions are a little more under control. She tries to immitate Rei's method of pulling up the yukata with a shrug, but, if anything, it sags a little lower on one side. She definitely doesn't have the trick of it.]

I'm sorry I ruined the moment. I wanted it, but....

[This time, the shrug is a much smaller motion, intended for expression rather than trying to move the yukata. She couldn't help it, but she does feel a bit bad even so.]

[Rei nods, a weak smile forming on her lips as she reaches over and gently pulls Fenimore's clothing back into place. Her hand trails up from there to cup her girlfriend's cheek. She's doing her best here, trying to be reassuring. Because she really doesn't want Fenimore feeling down about this. The moment was past, and it can wait. They've got other, more important things to think about now anyway. Like cuddling.]

But it's not the right time. I understand. I want it too, believe me, but there will be other chances. And tonight I learned something about you. So, I think that's important too.

[Fenimore does her best to return the smile, though it's not nearly as bright as it might usually be. Closing her eyes, she rests her cheek against Rei's hand and takes a deep, somewhat shakey breath. By the time she lets it out, she's completely stopped trembling.]

Maybe you're right.

[The maybe is for the learning -- she feels like she should have told her before Rei found out just by seeing the scars -- as she knows that Rei is right about there being other chances. She tells herself that she should give Rei more of an explanation than she has. Maybe not the full story, but at least an outline. But she doesn't want to face that right now. She's too tired, emotionally.

She's not sure what else to say, so, after a moment, she opens her eyes and reaches up to take Rei's hand. Moving it away from her face, she hugs her girlfriend, the movement slow and soft, and rests her head against her shoulder.]

...I love you.

[Because, everything else aside, she wants to make sure that is clear. She might not be able to believe everything Rei's told her, but she does appreciate how much Rei cares for her.]

[For emphasis, Rei nods once more, much more sharply. She understand that, so very completely, and returns the hug with a little smile, gently stroking Fenimore's back while she holds the embrace.]

And I love you too.

[She runs a hand through her girlfriend's hair, more than happy to just sit there for a while and hold her in silence. What else really needs to be said? Now isn't the appropriate time for sharing more of that story. And she didn't really even want to hear it right now. There had been enough negativity, and she knows that whatever had happened it would make her very, very angry. Scars like that didn't come from good people.]

Are you ready to get some rest? And go to the party tomorrow?

[Fenimore nods. Right at the moment, her first reaction to thinking about the party is to not go and just spend the day hiding in the shrine, but she knows that she will feel better enough after a night's rest, especially one with Rei, that she will still want to go.]

Yeah. I'd like that.

[She gives her girlfriend a gentle kiss on the cheek. When she leans back, her smile is a little warmer than it had been, even if it was still small.]

Thanks.

[She doesn't specify exactly what she's thanking Rei for, and she's not sure exactly what it is herself. But she does know that, even if she's still not entirely okay, things could have gone a lot worse, and she's grateful for Rei's part in making sure it didn't go worse.]

[Rei returns the kiss onto Fenimore's opposite cheek and pulls away so she can slide her futon over up next to the other. Reaching for the single large blanket, she'll go ahead and lay down on her side.]

Of course, dear. Now, why don't we get cozy and get some sleep? It'll be a nice day tomorrow.

[~~And then the happy music started playing.~~ Fenimore slips in after her, nestling in close.]

I hope it is. Though even if it isn't, that won't affect the most important part of the day.

[Which is to say, their time in the shrine, since it won't matter if it rains then. Even if it didn't end the way she would have liked, she still is glad they had done so and she hopes that tomorrow night will go well, too. She hesitates for a moment before giving Rei a kiss on the lips, short and soft.]

Good night, love.

[Rei slips her arms around Fenimore under the blanket and returns the kiss with another on the forehead.]

Goodnight to you too, dear. [A beat.] I love you.

I love you, too.

[Fenimore returns the embrace, settling in. She wishes that some of that night had gone differently -- she would have rathered if they could have gone through with it without her freaking out and stopping -- but at least the end was going to go exactly as she'd hoped.]

[There's always tomorrow, Rei thinks silently to herself as she drifts off to sleep...]

Same for mine! Gosh, why so angry!

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